Category Archives: Personal
the end of the nomadic life | learning to be still
i remember learning about the nomads when i was still in junior high. they were a group of people who traveled from place to place without a permanent home…like the mongols in asia or the gypsies in europe. for the past seven months, even though we have been staying at a beautiful place with ben’s brother, at times i felt like we were living the nomadic life. for the most part, i learned to enjoy the drastic change from living in the suburbs to living on a farm. i loved seeing caleb and abby roam free in the backyard and cherished their excitement when they climbed small trees. most of all, i loved seeing the beauty of god’s amazing creation when the sun set each day right behind our barn.
but there were times when i missed having my own place. a place where i and the kids can really call home.
ben and i have been going back and forth on finding the right rental for us. the emotional roller coaster we went through was…huge. we searched for hundreds of properties online, visited a handful of possible abodes. we talked about where we should and shouldn’t compromise; we even almost settled for anything. during this whole time we prayed and asked for guidance and direction. but it seemed all our prayers went nowhere.
until i realized sometimes his answer doesn’t come in ways we expect.
sometimes his silence is his answer.
be still and know that i am god. so simple, yet so hard.
then in the least way we expected, he provided. not only did he provide, everything about our new home is perfect. the perfect size, the perfect location, the perfect neighborhood. it was perfect for us.
meanwhile….we have moved in with my in-laws once again. they have been a wonderful blessing. they took us 5 in during the summer when the hurricane hit and when the power was cut off from the farm. now that we are in the transition to move in and settle into our new home, they have so graciously provided a temporary shelter for us. these pictures are from the first day we moved out of the farm. this is our life. on this day, caleb was struck with some kind of stomach bug. there was no elegant wallpaper, no pretty window dressing, no eye-catching furniture. with our stuff still packed in multiple boxes (that are literally all over this tiny 2-bedroom place), i know i will want to remember this. and i can’t complain. i have a roof over my head, food to eat when i am hungry, and i get to spend time with my beautiful children and ben everyday. my heavenly father has provided every little thing in my life. and i know i will look back one day at this seemingly difficult time and be grateful.
i have learned yet again to be still.
Also posted in General
Tagged b&w, be still, black and white, move, nomad, nomadic, personal
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01.01.2012 | 10 on 10
it’s a brand new year, a brand new beginning. this is my very first day in 2012.
( this year, i have decided to join a group of very talented photographers for a monthly little project called 10 on 10. the challenge of this project is to collect 10 images that i shoot in one day in the past month to tell a story. please head over to Kellie Hatcher | Maui Family Photographer to see her 10 on 10 for january.) 
Also posted in General, Portraits
Tagged 01.01.2012, 1.1.2012, 10 on 10, 10 on 10 january, january, january 2012
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6 months old
i can hardly believe. jacob is six months old today.
i thought i just brought him home from the hospital yesterday.
currently fighting a bad cold, he is still all smiles.
his favorite siblings: caleb & abby.
his favorite pastime: gnawing (on anything and everything).
his favorite activity: roaming on his newly-owned walker.
his favorite people to see: everyone he recognizes.
his big-boy moment: when his two bottom teeth surfaced three days ago!
happy 6-months, jacob! i’m SO blessed to have you. i can’t wait to watch you go through every stage in life just like your brother and sister. i love you.
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friday night, nyc, the crowd, the tree, and the question
it was the last weekend before christmas. for me, i’ve always wanted to have a christmas experience in new york city. since this is the first year we are back east, a big group of us decided to go into new york city to see the tree at rockefeller center. it was also the first time ben and i brought our older two kids with us into the city.
so it was a special night.
it was also special because one of ben’s brothers was going to ask his then-girlfriend to marry him.
in front of the tree, in front of a bigger-than-normal nyc crowd.
…and she said yes!!
Share on Facebookwith a thankful heart, i give you this
honestly, i can’t believe thanksgiving is in two days. 2011 has been one of the most frustrating, adventurous, rewarding, best and worst year for me. in a way, i am glad it is coming to an end. but then again, i want to savor every last bit of this year.
here’s what i mean.
ever since our cross-country move, my life had been consisted of doing laundry, late night feedings, diaper changes, establishing a new routine for the two older kids (and for me as well), cooking, doing the dishes, unpacking from our boxes and everything else in between. at a place where we currently call ‘home’. ben had officially resigned from the LAPD and we both were forced to become familiar with his brand new work schedule; this meant not seeing each other much during the week. at times, my temper would grow thin from dealing with three children 5 and under all by myself for the whole entire day. when ben finally did come home at the end of the day he would be so tired that all he wanted to do was to find his pillow and nothing else mattered much. the only way to keep me sane–making images and blogging–became impossible. i hardly had the time to even shower. i became frustrated when i realized that i really didn’t even have 5 minutes in a day to myself. in the midst of all this business, strangely, i have had the opportunity to hear the voice of my heavenly father often. it has been so loud and clear.
he’s telling me to persevere.
he’s telling me to trust him.
he’s telling me it’s not an accident i am where i am in life today.
he’s telling me to slow down, and to live one day at a time.
he’s telling me to look around.
he’s telling me to keep going.
he’s telling me to love, even when it’s difficult.
he’s telling me that he is.
he’s telling me even though i can’t see clearly what’s ahead of me, he is there.
i have not felt this close to him in a long time. it sounds ironic but because life had been quite difficult to handle the past few months, to me, his love had never felt so real and solid. i can almost reach out and touch it. there is no other love that i can completely rest my hopes in. the only driving force that kept me going when i wanted to give up was knowing that he is that light at the end of this tunnel. and i want to remember this. i want to savor every last bit of this closeness.
my good friend molly wrote to me recently and it hit home:
god uses our circumstances to draw ourselves closer to him and to show our dependence on him.
i know that if it weren’t for his strength, i wouldn’t have made it this far. i couldn’t have made it this far.
2011 had been quite a year. but there is also so much i am thankful for. SO MUCH.
happy thanksgiving. xoxo
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