Category Archives: Personal

dear abby : a letter to my daughter

dear abby,

today you are four years old. i know how excited you are because you have been counting down the days since last month. though i am really happy for you and feel thankful that God has blessed me with another year with you, deep down i am crying. when i look into your big brown eyes, i am reminded what a big, graceful girl you have become. you are no longer that 6-lb baby i brought home from the hospital years ago.

dear abby, if only you know how much your daddy and i adore you. i often find myself staring at your perfect face for no reason at all–only because i want to admire you from the bottom of my heart. you are sensitive to others’ needs, you are intuitive to people’s feelings and you are emotional; you are observant and you are always eagar to help. i never hear you complain when you are asked to do something. you always tell me, ‘okay, mommy!’ as if you are so delighted to do what i ask. you always have that sweet smile on your face and when you ask me for something with that same grin, i melt every time. every time. you will never understand the love your daddy and i have for you. it is indescribeable.

dear abby, you always touch me in a special way every time you reach over with those little hands of yours. you make my heart full when you walk over quietly and just snuggle your little body in against mine. i wish i can embrace you and protect you with all that i am and all that i have–until the end of times–but i know a part of loving you is to slowly let you go and trust that the lord will guide you and walk with you. i will not be right by you forever.

dear abby, as you are starting another brand new year, i promise you i will be there for you. i will hold your hand when you want me to, pick you up when you are upset and laugh with you when you are happy. i will make sure there is no jelly in your peanut butter sandwiches and there is always plenty of mint and chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer. i will also make sure your hair is always combed but will not force you to tie your hair up. i promise we will paint your nails as often as we can, to whatever shades of red you’d like. i promise i will always love you, no matter what.

happy birthday, sweet girl.

 

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the day it snowed | february 10 on 10

it has been a fairly mild winter here in new jersey. ever since winter started, we’ve had one snowfall.

this was that day (even though caleb really didn’t care for it. he’s a southern california boy at heart.)

( this year, i have decided to join a group of very talented photographers for a monthly little project called 10 on 10. the challenge of this project is to collect 10 images that i shoot in one day in the past month to tell a small story. please head over to Ketti Phillips | Seattle Family Photographer and see her 10 on 10 for this month. :)

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the end of the nomadic life | learning to be still

i remember learning about the nomads when i was still in junior high. they were a group of people who traveled from place to place without a permanent home…like the mongols in asia or the gypsies in europe. for the past seven months, even though we have been staying at a beautiful place with ben’s brother, at times i felt like we were living the nomadic life. for the most part, i learned to enjoy the drastic change from living in the suburbs to living on a farm. i loved seeing caleb and abby roam free in the backyard and cherished  their excitement when they climbed small trees. most of all, i loved seeing the beauty of god’s amazing creation when the sun set each day right behind our barn.

but there were times when i missed having my own place. a place where i and the kids can really call home.

ben and i have been going back and forth on finding the right rental for us. the emotional roller coaster we went through was…huge. we searched for hundreds of properties online, visited a handful of possible abodes. we talked about where we should and shouldn’t compromise; we even almost settled for anything. during this whole time we prayed and asked for guidance and direction. but it seemed all our prayers went nowhere.

until i realized sometimes his answer doesn’t come in ways we expect.

sometimes his silence is his answer.

be still and know that i am god. so simple, yet so hard.

then in the least way we expected, he provided. not only did he provide, everything about our new home is perfect. the perfect size, the perfect location, the perfect neighborhood. it was perfect for us.

meanwhile….we have moved in with my in-laws once again. they have been a wonderful blessing. they took us 5 in during the summer when the hurricane hit and when the power was cut off from the farm. now that we are in the transition to move in and settle into our new home, they have so graciously provided a temporary shelter for us. these pictures are from the first day we moved out of the farm. this is our life. on this day, caleb was struck with some kind of stomach bug. there was no elegant wallpaper, no pretty window dressing, no eye-catching furniture. with our stuff still packed in multiple boxes (that are literally all over this tiny 2-bedroom place), i know i will want to remember this. and i can’t complain.  i have a roof over my head, food to eat when i am hungry, and i get to spend time with my beautiful children and ben everyday. my heavenly father has provided every little thing in my life. and i know i will look back one day at this seemingly difficult time and be grateful.

i have learned yet again to be still.

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01.01.2012 | 10 on 10

it’s a brand new year, a brand new beginning. this is my very first day in 2012.

( this year, i have decided to join a group of very talented photographers for a monthly little project called 10 on 10. the challenge of this project is to collect 10 images that i shoot in one day in the past month to tell a story. please head over to Kellie Hatcher | Maui Family Photographer to see her 10 on 10 for january.) :)

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6 months old

i can hardly believe. jacob is six months old today.

i thought i just brought him home from the hospital yesterday.

currently fighting a bad cold, he is still all smiles.

his favorite siblings: caleb & abby.

his favorite pastime: gnawing (on anything and everything).

his favorite activity: roaming on his newly-owned walker.

his favorite people to see: everyone he recognizes.

his big-boy moment: when his two bottom teeth surfaced three days ago!

happy 6-months, jacob! i’m SO blessed to have you. i can’t wait to watch you go through every stage in life just like your brother and sister. i love you.

 

 

 

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